The Evolution of a Sentence

In my Beautiful People's post, you might have noticed my first two sentences, which introduced the linkup. If you didn't notice them, here they are:

 

"Beautiful People is a monthly linkup for writers hosted by Cait at Paper Fury and Sky at Further Up and Further In. This month's questions relate to writerly resolutions for the New Year." 

I'm willing to bet five invisible unicorns that you didn't notice those two sentences. Why didn't you notice them? Because I edited them to be unnoticeable.
Those two sentences started out like this:

"Beautiful People is a linkup hosted by Cait at Paper Fury and Sky at Further Up and Further In designed to let authors answer questions about their books and characters. Since this month's questions are all about writing resolutions for the New Year, I thought I'd join in to give you all a taste of what I hope to accomplish in the coming weeks!"

Both "before" and "after" contain two sentences and relate the same information—that Beautiful People is a monthly linkup for writers hosted by Cait and Sky—but one is clearly the superior. How did I get from five lines of text to three, and still manage to keep all the information?

In his book On Writing Well, William Zinsser says, "Writing improves in direct ratio to the number of things we can keep out of it that shouldn't be there... Examine every word you put on paper. You'll find a surprising number that don't serve any purpose."

I could tell that my sentences were too wordy, so I changed, "I thought I'd join in to give you all a taste" to "I thought I'd share with you," and, "...of what I hope to accomplish in the coming weeks" to "...of what I hope to accomplish in 2016." I de-cluttered the second sentence by eight words AND got rid of a cliché phrase ("give you all a taste"). Now my sentence looked like this:

 

"Beautiful People is a linkup hosted by Cait at Paper Fury and Sky at Further Up and Further In designed for authors to answer questions about their books and characters. Since this month's questions are about writing resolutions for the New Year, I thought I'd share with you what I hope to accomplish in 2016!"

But it was still too wordy. What else could I take out? Well, the blog post itself insinuates that I'm sharing what I hope to accomplish in 2016 with you, so that bit could be deleted.

 

"Beautiful People is a linkup hosted by Cait at Paper Fury and Sky at Further Up and Further In designed for authors to answer questions about their books and characters. This month's questions are about writing resolutions for the New Year."

After that, I couldn't decide whether or not to put a comma between Cait and Sky's information and the word "designed," so I split the sentence in two.

"Beautiful People is a linkup hosted by Cait at Paper Fury and Sky at Further Up and Further In. It was designed for writers to answer questions about their books and characters. This month's questions are about writing resolutions for the New Year."

Now, however, all three sentences were nearly the same length!
After several minutes of intense thinking, I decided that my readers didn't need to know that the linkup was "for writers to answer questions about their books and characters" when the much simpler "for writers" would do. I added the word "monthly" and my introductory sentences were complete:

"Beautiful People is a monthly linkup for writers hosted by Cait at Paper Fury and Sky at Further Up and Further In. This month's questions relate to writerly resolutions for the New Year."

Qapla'! (Which in Klingonese for "success.")

My sentences were reduced by almost half, resulting in an easy-to-read and unobtrusive introduction to my Beautiful People post. It wasn't because I'm a naturally talented writer, but because I am learning to be a deliberate writer.

Let us return to On Writing Well for a closing quote:

"Writing is hard work. A clear sentence is no accident. Very few sentences come out right the first time, or even the third time. Remember this in moments of despair. If you find that writing is hard, it's because it is hard."

Beautiful People: January 2016 // Goals

Beautiful People is a monthly linkup for writers hosted by Cait at Paper Fury and Sky at Further Up and Further In. This month's questions relate to writerly resolutions for the New Year.

1. What were your writing achievements last year?
In 2015, I completed two novels and also earned an A- in AP English Language and Composition.

2. Tell us about your top priority writing project for this year?
My fantasy novel, which I rewrote in 2015, is in need of minor plot fixing and major character and world building. I hope to work on these issues and complete one—if not two—more drafts of this novel in the next year.

 

3. List 5 areas you’d like to work the hardest to improve this year.

-I want to experiment with editing and, hopefully, find a method of editing which works well for me. 

-By the end of the year, I hope to have a better grasp on creating believable and relatable characters.

-I want to further hone my essay writing and nonfiction muscles. I am one of those strange people who loves to plan and write essays, but fine-tuning them and putting together citations makes me panic.

-Like most everyone else, I want to procrastinate less and write more.

-This isn't a writing goal, but it does pertain to the craft: I would love to read more about writing. See question #6 for the writing-related books I hope to read this year.

4. Are you participating in any writing challenges?
Oh, just a little thing called NaNoWriMo. *shrugs*
I might take part in one or both of the Camp NaNoWriMo's as well, depending on whether or not I need motivation to work on my fantasy story.

 

5. What’s your critique partner/beta reader situation like and do you have plans to expand this year?
Erm. I don't really have a critique partner or beta reader(s). Right now, my parents are the only ones that read my work before it's finished. I would love to expand my pre-readership, though. When I'm done with the next draft of my fantasy novel I will probably contact some of my friends to read it. Let me know in the comments if you are interested!

 

6. Do you have plans to read any writer-related books this year? Or are there specific books you want to read for research.
Here are three writing-related books that I plan on reading in the next few weeks:
-On Writing Well by William Zinsser.
-The Art of War for Writers by James Scott Bell.
-Plot & Structure: Techniques and Exercises for Crafting a Plot That Grips Readers from Start to Finish by James Scott Bell.

 

7. Pick one character you want to get to know better, and how are you going to achieve this?
I did some mild character-building last week and now I'm very excited to work more with my villainous character. He didn't have much motivation or personality in the first two drafts because I didn't know how to portray ruthlessness on paper. After reading several books on Russia during Stalin's reign, however, I have some ideas. Now, I need to work those ideas into draft 3. After that, I hope to know my villain better.

 

8. Do you plan to edit or query, and what’s your plan of attack?
I plan to edit copiously, but don't have any plans for querying this story yet.

 

9. Toni Morrison once said, “If there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.”  What are the books that you want to see more of, and what “holes” do you think need filling in the literary world?
I have been thinking about this question for two days and I still can't think of an answer. I think that with all the different books in the world, and especially with all of the different authors that self-publishing has presented to the world, there is a book for anyone, if one looks hard enough.
I suppose the world can never have enough adventure stories, though.

 

10. What do you hope to have achieved by the end of 2016?
I hope to have a third—and maybe fourth—draft of my fantasy novel finished and, perhaps, a short story collection completed. I would also like this blog to be filled with well-written posts, and for my nonfiction writing skills to improve.

What are some of your goals (writing or not writing related) for 2016?

The First Post

Welcome to Abbey's World of Pure Imagination!

I am Abbey (or, A.G. Werff). You may know me from my previous blog Dolls, Books, and Things That Matter.

Here are some facts about me for those who are new:

1. I love lists and organization and planning and schedules and goals and accomplishing things. As a result, you will probably see many goals and checklists on this blog.

2. My favorite authors are J.R.R. Tolkien and P.G. Wodehouse, and some of my favorite books are The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, and The Adventures of Tintin by Herge. You can learn more about my favorites on my Goodreads page HERE.

3. I also write my own stories. Hence the blog title. Welcome to my imagination!

4. I'm a musician. I play piano and sing. You can find me on Youtube HERE. Occasionally, I might post about my musical exploits if you readers are inclined to listen.

5. In addition to playing music, I listen to a lot of music, especially when I'm writing. I listen to nearly everything. If it was written between the beginning of time and the 1980s, it's probably on my playlist (with an oh-so light sprinkling of modern music on the side).

6. There is a huge label on my forehead that reads "TREKKIE." Live long and prosper.

7. The most important thing to know about me is that I am a Christian, saved from my sin by the death of Jesus Christ on a cross. This does not mean that I'm perfect, but I do try to live my life according to the statutes put forth in the Bible.

Here are some things you can look forward to on this blog:

1. Book reviews.

2. Posts about my writing and editing process (inspired by the lovely Katie at Spiral-Bound.)

3. Well-written nonfiction articles on various topics of interest.

4. Update posts on my life and what I'm currently reading, writing, listening to, watching, playing, et cetera, et cetera.

5. Whatever else I can pull out of my imagination!

Hopefully, you are excited as I am to start this new blogging adventure together!